Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Back to work

Today was my first official day back to work.  Giovanni spent his second day at daycare and is doing great.  When I picked him up yesterday, all the babies were content and he was happily playing in a bouncy seat.

I can't help but wonder if there is something wrong with me as a Mom.  I fell back into my routine at work, plowing through the 600+ e-mails that had accumulated during my 12-week leave, catching up with my team and co-workers, and almost forgetting that I needed to pump.  Yes, at the end of the day I was excited to go home and see my Little Man.  But I did not spend the whole day pining over him, counting the minutes until I could leave.  I went about my day and the time flew by.  (Ever notice how that happens when you're busy?)

I'm hoping it's just a reflection of my attempts to be a laid-back, low-drama person.  As my Mom reminded me tonight, I know I can be a better Mom to him by working.  It will keep me sane and allow us to provide some of the opportunities we want him to have in life.  I guess it's just the inevitable pressure of only having one chance to raise him right.

On a lighter note, I got a full evening of snuggles when I got home.  Dinner for Giovanni, a lot of screaming while Mom & Dad ate dinner (why does that always happen when we're ready to eat?!), then a little more snuggling while he napped on my chest.  Hungry cries around 8:30 spelled dry drawers, pajamas, and a nightcap before he fell asleep in my arms.  He was so adorable lying there, that I just held him for another 45 minutes, kissing his sweet little head and thinking of what a blessing he is!  Maybe I'll be an okay Mom after all...
This is how I spent my night

1 comment:

  1. I missed this one somehow. :(

    You know there's nothing wrong with your mothering. You have the enviable ability to direct your attention where it is needed at the time and block out the things that would distract you.

    Yay for baby snuggles.